I am often told I seem like a very grounded person.

I am often told I seem like a very grounded person. I have my moments.

Here is what I shared with a client who recently asked me how I do it.

It’s not that my inner world is calm cool and collected. I’m a highly sensitive, highly emotional person. I’m prone to anxiety and desires for control and being deeply impacted by my life and the world around me. My interior world is an ocean that has moments of stillness and moments of storm and ongoing tides and waves to ride.

In some ways, being so so sensitive and full of feeling actually creates the conditions that lead me to seem quite grounded. Because here’s the thing – my tolerance for not feeling attuned and with myself is low. I respond quickly to being pulled off my center and I crave feelings of intimacy within myself.

What do I do when I am pulled off my center?

• I reach out for support. A lot. I reach for friends, family, colleagues, coaches, learning spaces, and the more than human world. When my struggles are held in community, and when I honor those struggles as portals to learning, I am more able to feel clear, self-possessed, present, and capable.

• I try to prioritize sleeping and eating like it’s part of my job. Because it is. Without literal energy, I am not resourced. This isn’t about control or consistency, it’s about listening. I’m not interested in strict routines and hyper control. I am interested in discernment and intentional choices. Sometimes a night with friends is more energizing than the luxurious bedtime routine. Sometimes I cancel plans with friends so I can honor a desire to feel quiet and still.

• I prioritize the activities that I know light me up and inspire me – first and foremost because I deserve to feel good (we all do) and secondly because it means I am more creative and available to the people I’m around (whether they pay me or not).

And here’s the embodiment piece: I track and tend to both internal and external information constantly. I practice finding my feet underneath of me, my back behind me, and my breath moving through me. I listen to my instincts and I seek sites of resource around me (a glass of water, something pretty to look at, etc).

I know who I want to be as a teacher, coach, business owner, friend, family member, etc and I know what I need to do in order to move towards being that person/those people.

All of this requires a looooooot of awareness and love for my inner landscape. and a continued commitment to learning that landscape as it shifts and changes through the years.

it’s also a privilege. I have a good amount of resource, time, safety and health privilege. And I also think it’s one of the most radical things I can do. Because centering my own system in this way means I show up to build a world I believe in with less aggression and more honesty, less stuckness and more imagination, and capacity to be with others in generative and loving ways.